Concerning Meetings: What has changed in 900 days?

Concerning meetings, there are two main types: “Open meetings” and “Closed meetings.”

• Open meetings are available to anyone interested in learning about the program.

• Closed meetings are limited to people who have a drinking or drug-using problem and desire to stop drinking or using.

There are then meeting categories that are determined by the group. There are Newcomer/Beginner meetings, Topic discussion meetings, Step-Study Speaker meetings, Big Book focused meetings, Speaker meetings, Men’s meetings, and Women’s meetings. There are other categories as well. These meetings take place at all times of the day, Sunday through Saturday. Some locations start at 6:00 AM and have their final meetings at 10:00 PM. I want to encourage you to search for AA and NA meetings in your area for more specific information, as well as the times that meetings take place.

When I first got sober, I was told to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Looking back, this approach helped me establish the discipline of going to meetings and changed what took place during my evenings. At the very least, I stayed sober for one more hour, and my mind was occupied by other people and not by drinking. While doing the 90-in-90, I made new friends and got to hear their points of view on life and recovery. I also experienced a wide variety of meeting styles.

During this time, I was expecting to see some big, positive changes in my life. Looking back, I had only been sober for three months. During those three months, nothing had changed that I would have considered "positive" for myself. By the end of those 90 days, I had sold a house and moved an hour south. I was not getting the results I wanted, so I started questioning the effectiveness of the program I was attending. The doubt crept in.

Hindsight being 20/20, I realize that my disease was looking for reasons to stop going to meetings. I found many reasons that I believed would be issues for my sobriety in this new location. The new meeting room was "too brown." The chairs weren't as comfortable as the ones where home used to be. The people were all "too different" from what I was used to.

I was looking for differences, and not similarities.

Eventually, many months later, I stopped going to meetings. I stopped calling my sober friends. I figured I could just keep to the Big Book, and that would be enough. I was wrong. Just shy of a year sober... I relapsed, and it was clear to me that I needed meetings, other people, and more of God in my life. Plus, I got the "judge nudge" after my arrest in 2024.

I started attending different meetings on different days, looking for similarities with the other members. I lowered my expectations when looking for similarities. I found a good start in changing my perspective to simply: “We are all here at the same time.”

Over the past two and a half years, I’ve really fallen in love with the AA Newcomer Meetings. Going to these meetings has kept me aware of how painful my addiction was. A newcomer sharing about what lead them to a meeting has helped stop my mind from fantasizing about “the good times.” This has kept me grounded. I also go to these meetings and share specifically what has helped me stay sober since my relapse.

I do attend a church on Sundays. The church has a recovery program and hosts the group on Thursdays. To my surprise, the program is based on Narcotics Anonymous. The willingness of the members to be honest about their different addictions has opened my eyes to the versatility and usefulness of a 12-Step program. If there is a struggle you're facing, there’s likely a group you can attend. When I attend those meetings on Thursdays, it reminds me that addiction can actually serve to keep me close to Jesus and turn to Him when life throws curveballs.

Because I consistently attend meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’m no longer isolated or trying to hide who I was in my addiction. Being able to speak freely in meetings about my experience with addiction has repurposed that pain I once felt. That pain is now a tool for connection and a way to share hope with others. With the schedule I have created, I get to be of service consistently to others.

If you are struggling with alcohol, drugs, other substances, gambling, etc. (literally etc.), I want to encourage you to be active and find a meeting schedule that works for you. If you are starting to go to meetings for addiction, I recommend listening for similarities when others share… at the very least, you are all there at the same time!